Shat to the Bone

Well on the day I was born...
The doctor said "Throw this one away!"
So they did.
Well, I grew up in a garbage can.
And that's why I'm bad to the bone today.

B-b-b-bad to the bone.
B-b-b-b-bad.
B-b-bad to the bone.
B-b-b-b-b-b-bad.

Well, I ate a steak.
I went out and did man things.
I put my face on a dime.
Ho-hum hiddy war crime.
Bucket of lime is fine.
It isn't a sign.
Take my sweet time.
Sordid in Pole time.

B-b-b-bad to the bone.
B-b-b-bad.
B-b-b-bad to the bone.
B-b-b-b-bad.
B-b-b-b-b-b-bad to the bone.
Bad.
B-b-b-b-b-bad to the bone.
B-b-b-b-b-bad.

Doo Wah Doody

So there I was, just walkin' down the street.
Sayin' "Hello" to everyone I meet.
And they said "Hello."
And I said "Hello."
So I walk up to this house with somebody inside it.
And I opened the door and went inside.
And they said "Hello."
And I said "Hello."
And I said "You got anything for me?"
And they said "Why yes I do, I have this card!"
And that card says "Albert Mond."
And I say "I think that's my name! I think that's my name!"
And then I say "How do you know my name?"
And it says "I know you."
And so (line missing)
And I say "Oh (line missing)."
(line missing)
And it says "I am a card."
"what's your name?"
I think my name may be Albert Mond.
(line missing)
I ask her if there are any little people in the house.
She says "Oh, there's one over there."
(line missing)
And he says "I came from Africa."
"Little midgets evolved from little tiny lions."
"They're all gone, now, you see."
So I asked him where the lions came from.
"Little tiny lions came from little tiny monkeys! Look at your card!"
And the card says "Hello."
And I say "Hello!"
And (line missing)
Outside (lizard on the ground?)
I asked if I could go outside on the grass.
Old lady says "Don't step on the grass."
And I say "Fuck your shit, man, I'm going out on the grass."
So I go out on the grass and I look for the lizard.
There's no lizard in sight.
So I dig a hole under a tree.
And I get inside.
And I find my way to Mexico.
(line missing)
(line missing)
I'm on my way there right now.
(line missing)
I'm gonna dig back to where I live.
(line missing)
To where I live.
To where I live.
Where I live.
Where I live.

Hank the Human Fishbowl

Hank the human fishbowl.
He does not fail.
He rides the rails.
Hank the human fishbowl.
He does not fail.
He rides the rails.

He goes down to the sea and 1-2-3...
On the dock he stands.
Out and about the sailor men with harpoons in hand.
Swims over to the captain hook...
Fish-eyed lenses, salty looks.
Likes the eels, looks like a seal.
Digs himself some clams.

Hank the human fishbowl.
He does not fail.
He rides the rails.
Hank the human fishbowl.
He does not fail.
He rides the rails.

Takes the rails to the dock.
He's on his feet again.
Flippers flying in his head...
The sea is his best friend.
First he fights the great sperm whale.
It's what he becomes.
Surrounded by the tentacles...
Feasting on the chum.
Seafood, seamen, tackle shop.
Sky is Navy blue.
Do it right, avoid red tide.
Too much gumbo stew.

Tribute to a Bonzai

Down from the glen came their walkin' dudes.
With their helmets and their guns.
To battle the battle, enslave human cattle.
And have lots of fun.